DISCOVER YOUR PREFERENCES
To help you identify your preferences, I've included a series of 10 questions (sometimes also referred to as an inventory) at the beginning of each chapter in Opposites Attract. The inventory below is taken from my latest book 0pposites Attract. The inventories are not the actual MBTI. Myers Briggs, and Myers Briggs Type Indicator are registered trademarks of the MBTI Trust Inc.
You may identify somewhat with both statements in a pair, but one answer usually comes more easily, while its opposite seems less familiar. It's best not to think too long about the statements—go with your first, most automatic response. Answer the statements according to what is true for you, not what you would like to be true, or think ought to be true.
Remember, the inventories are designed only to help you find out more about yourself: they are not tests, and there is no "better" or "right" answer to any question. So do your best to respond based on what is really true for you rather than on what you think should be true.
It’s more common to wind up with some "A" answers and some "B" answers than it is to wind up with a 10-0, or 0-10, split. If you do come out with a significantly higher score on one than another – for example, 9 on Extravert and 1 on Introvert, or vice versa, you most likely have found your true preference. If your tendencies are more moderate, you will relate, to some degree, to both the Extravert and the Introvert preferences. However, you will usually have at least a slight preference for one over the other. If, for example, you score "6" on Extravert and "4" on Introvert, then Extravert is probably your stronger preference. If one side of a preference pair sounds about 60 to 70% like you, that is probably your favored preference. If you score 5 Extravert and 5 Introvert, you may want to check the inventory again. We almost always have a preference, however slight, one way or the other. No matter how you score on each inventory, the degree to which you resonate with the descriptions in each chapter in Opposites Attract are most telling. In my book What Type Am I? I go into each of the 16 possible type connections.
Do keep in mind that the goal of the inventory is to help you find your preferences, not to provide labels. So a "10" on Extravert, for example, means that you prefer, or are more comfortable with, extraversion—not that you "are" an Extravert.
THE ENERGIZING PREFERENCE:EXTRAVERTS-INTROVERTS
Read the following statements and check the sentence that describes you best—A or B. To achieve the most accurate score, answer the statements according to what is true for you, not what you would like to be true, or think ought to be true.
You’ll need to use a piece of paper and number from 1 to 10 for each inventory. Then write A or B for each number.
THE INVENTORY
1. A___ I feel energized when I interact with people.
B___ I feel drained if I spend too much time with others.
2. A ___ People would probably describe me as friendly or outgoing.
B ___ People would probably describe me as reserved or aloof.
3. A___ I prefer to develop ideas by discussing them with others.
B___ I prefer to develop ideas by reflecting on them in my own mind.
4. A ___ I often enjoy being the center of attention.
B ___ I usually avoid being the center of attention.
5. A ___ I tend to say the first thing that comes into my mind, without thinking
too much beforehand.
B ___ Before I speak, I usually consider what I’m going to say.
6. A ___ I enjoy having a wide circle of friends and acquaintances.
B ___ I enjoy having just a few close friends.
7. A ___ I tend to be talkative in groups.
B ___ I tend to be quiet in groups.
8. A ___ When I spend long periods of time by myself, I can end up feeling
lonely and restless.
B ___ I am comfortable spending a great deal of time alone.
9. A ___ I prefer a job that involves working with many other people.
B ___ I prefer a job that allows me to work alone.
10. A ___ I find it stimulating to socialize with a group of people.
B ___ I feel most comfortable socializing with just one or two other people
at a time.
SCORING
Record how many times you chose "A" or "B" as the answer above.
TOTAL
––– A Extravert
––– B Introvert
THE PERCEIVING PREFERENCESENSORS-INTUITIVES
THE INVENTORY
1. A___I tend to be more realistic, practical, and down to earth than
imaginative.
B___ I tend to be more imaginative, innovative, and creative than
realistic.
2. A___ I prefer information that is concrete and factual.
B ___I prefer information that is abstract and theoretical.
3. A___ Rather than speculating about the future, I like to focus on what is
at hand in the present.
B___ I enjoy thinking about new possibilities and ideas; my attention is
drawn to what might be or could be in the future.
4. A ___I pay more attention to details and specifics than to the big picture.
B ___I pay more attention to the big picture than to details and specifics.
5. A ___ I don’t have a strong need to change or improve upon what already
exists. I’m usually content to just let things be.
B___ I tend to look for ways to improve upon things and enjoy doing
them in new ways.
6. A___ I know what's going on just by observing and using my common
sense.
B___ My intuition tells me much of what I need to know.
7. A___ My favorite tasks are practical and produce tangible results.
B___ My favorite tasks involve imagination and innovation.
8. A___I tend to interpret other people's statements and actions at face
value rather than trying to "read between the lines."
B___ I tend to look for the underlying meaning of what other people say
or do.
9. A ___I am bothered by people who always want to improve upon things
and do them in new ways.
B___I am bothered by people who give blow-by-blow
descriptions of the details.
10. A___ I am more interested in facts than theories.
B___ I am more interested in theories than facts.
SCORING
Record how many times you chose "A" or "B" as the answer above.
TOTAL
––– A Sensor
––– B Intuitive
THE DECISION MAKING PREFERENCETHINKERS-FEELERS
Since there is a great deal of pressure in our society for men to be logical, rational, and analytical (Thinkers), and for women to be warm, nurturing, and supportive (Feelers), be mindful about your responses.
THE INVENTORY
1. A. _____ People would probably describe me as detached and impersonal.
B. _____ People would probably describe me as warm and supportive.
2 A. _____ I value my ability to be rational.
B. _____ I value my ability to be empathetic.
3. A. _____ I enjoy debating and defending my point of view.
B. _____ I dislike arguing and debating. I value harmony.
4. A. _____ I make decisions objectively and impersonally.
B. _____ I make decisions based on how other people will be affected.
5. A. _____ It is more important to be truthful than tactful.
B. _____ It is important to be tactful than truthful.
6. A. _____ I tend to pay more attention to people’s thoughts than their feelings.
B. _____ I tend to pay more attention to people’s feelings than their thoughts.
7. A. _____ I am good at critiquing people.
B. _____ I am good at appreciating people.
8. A. _____ I tend to analyze people’s problems.
B. _____ I tend to sympathize with people’s problems.
9. A. _____ I tend to not take remarks personally.
B. _____ I tend to take remarks personally and my feelings are easily hurt.
10. A. _____ I make decisions based primarily on principles of justice and
fairness.
B. _____ I make decisions based primarily on personal circumstances or
concerns.
SCORING
Record how many times you chose "A" or "B" as the answer above.
TOTAL
––– A Thinker
––– B Feeler
THE LIFESTYLE PREFERENCE
JUDGERS – PERCEIVERS
THE INVENTORY
1. A___ I make to-do lists and actually do the things on them.
B___ I make to-do lists when I absolutely have to, but even then I don’t necessarily
follow them.
2. A ___ When there’s something I need to do, I try to get it done as soon as possible
B ___ When there’s something I need to do, I tend to procrastinate, and do everything
but that.
3. A ___ If I’m going someplace, I want to plan ahead of time and I prefer to have the
schedule settled before I leave the house.
B ___ I prefer leaving plans open-ended and going with the flow.
4. A___ I need to keep my things organized and orderly or the chaos will drive me
crazy.
B___ I consider myself organized, but my external surroundings can look
chaotic to others.
5. A___ It’s hard for me to relax until I’ve finished everything I have to do.
B ___ I can kick back and take it easy even if work is still pending.
6. A ___ It frustrates me when a firm plan is already agreed on and other people want to
change it, especially when it’s at the last minute.
B ___ Last-minute changes in plans don’t bother me at all; in fact, I often enjoy them.
7. A___ I like to plan ahead as much as possible.
B___ I like to improvise and adapt as I go.
8. A___ I prefer finishing a project before starting another one.
B ___ I’ll often start a new project before finishing the one I’m on.
9. A ___ I’m able to stay very focused on what I need to do.
B ___ Instead of staying on track, I am easily distracted by activities that aren’t really
priorities.
10. A___ I like to decide things as quickly as possible. I feel much more relaxed after a
decision is made.
B ___ I tend to postpone decision-making so I can keep my options open as long as
possible.
SCORING
Record how many times you chose "A" or "B" as the answer above.
TOTAL
––– A Judger
––– B Perceiver
To help you identify your preferences, I've included a series of 10 questions (sometimes also referred to as an inventory) at the beginning of each chapter in Opposites Attract. The inventory below is taken from my latest book 0pposites Attract. The inventories are not the actual MBTI. Myers Briggs, and Myers Briggs Type Indicator are registered trademarks of the MBTI Trust Inc.
You may identify somewhat with both statements in a pair, but one answer usually comes more easily, while its opposite seems less familiar. It's best not to think too long about the statements—go with your first, most automatic response. Answer the statements according to what is true for you, not what you would like to be true, or think ought to be true.
Remember, the inventories are designed only to help you find out more about yourself: they are not tests, and there is no "better" or "right" answer to any question. So do your best to respond based on what is really true for you rather than on what you think should be true.
It’s more common to wind up with some "A" answers and some "B" answers than it is to wind up with a 10-0, or 0-10, split. If you do come out with a significantly higher score on one than another – for example, 9 on Extravert and 1 on Introvert, or vice versa, you most likely have found your true preference. If your tendencies are more moderate, you will relate, to some degree, to both the Extravert and the Introvert preferences. However, you will usually have at least a slight preference for one over the other. If, for example, you score "6" on Extravert and "4" on Introvert, then Extravert is probably your stronger preference. If one side of a preference pair sounds about 60 to 70% like you, that is probably your favored preference. If you score 5 Extravert and 5 Introvert, you may want to check the inventory again. We almost always have a preference, however slight, one way or the other. No matter how you score on each inventory, the degree to which you resonate with the descriptions in each chapter in Opposites Attract are most telling. In my book What Type Am I? I go into each of the 16 possible type connections.
Do keep in mind that the goal of the inventory is to help you find your preferences, not to provide labels. So a "10" on Extravert, for example, means that you prefer, or are more comfortable with, extraversion—not that you "are" an Extravert.
THE ENERGIZING PREFERENCE:EXTRAVERTS-INTROVERTS
Read the following statements and check the sentence that describes you best—A or B. To achieve the most accurate score, answer the statements according to what is true for you, not what you would like to be true, or think ought to be true.
You’ll need to use a piece of paper and number from 1 to 10 for each inventory. Then write A or B for each number.
THE INVENTORY
1. A___ I feel energized when I interact with people.
B___ I feel drained if I spend too much time with others.
2. A ___ People would probably describe me as friendly or outgoing.
B ___ People would probably describe me as reserved or aloof.
3. A___ I prefer to develop ideas by discussing them with others.
B___ I prefer to develop ideas by reflecting on them in my own mind.
4. A ___ I often enjoy being the center of attention.
B ___ I usually avoid being the center of attention.
5. A ___ I tend to say the first thing that comes into my mind, without thinking
too much beforehand.
B ___ Before I speak, I usually consider what I’m going to say.
6. A ___ I enjoy having a wide circle of friends and acquaintances.
B ___ I enjoy having just a few close friends.
7. A ___ I tend to be talkative in groups.
B ___ I tend to be quiet in groups.
8. A ___ When I spend long periods of time by myself, I can end up feeling
lonely and restless.
B ___ I am comfortable spending a great deal of time alone.
9. A ___ I prefer a job that involves working with many other people.
B ___ I prefer a job that allows me to work alone.
10. A ___ I find it stimulating to socialize with a group of people.
B ___ I feel most comfortable socializing with just one or two other people
at a time.
SCORING
Record how many times you chose "A" or "B" as the answer above.
TOTAL
––– A Extravert
––– B Introvert
THE PERCEIVING PREFERENCESENSORS-INTUITIVES
THE INVENTORY
1. A___I tend to be more realistic, practical, and down to earth than
imaginative.
B___ I tend to be more imaginative, innovative, and creative than
realistic.
2. A___ I prefer information that is concrete and factual.
B ___I prefer information that is abstract and theoretical.
3. A___ Rather than speculating about the future, I like to focus on what is
at hand in the present.
B___ I enjoy thinking about new possibilities and ideas; my attention is
drawn to what might be or could be in the future.
4. A ___I pay more attention to details and specifics than to the big picture.
B ___I pay more attention to the big picture than to details and specifics.
5. A ___ I don’t have a strong need to change or improve upon what already
exists. I’m usually content to just let things be.
B___ I tend to look for ways to improve upon things and enjoy doing
them in new ways.
6. A___ I know what's going on just by observing and using my common
sense.
B___ My intuition tells me much of what I need to know.
7. A___ My favorite tasks are practical and produce tangible results.
B___ My favorite tasks involve imagination and innovation.
8. A___I tend to interpret other people's statements and actions at face
value rather than trying to "read between the lines."
B___ I tend to look for the underlying meaning of what other people say
or do.
9. A ___I am bothered by people who always want to improve upon things
and do them in new ways.
B___I am bothered by people who give blow-by-blow
descriptions of the details.
10. A___ I am more interested in facts than theories.
B___ I am more interested in theories than facts.
SCORING
Record how many times you chose "A" or "B" as the answer above.
TOTAL
––– A Sensor
––– B Intuitive
THE DECISION MAKING PREFERENCETHINKERS-FEELERS
Since there is a great deal of pressure in our society for men to be logical, rational, and analytical (Thinkers), and for women to be warm, nurturing, and supportive (Feelers), be mindful about your responses.
THE INVENTORY
1. A. _____ People would probably describe me as detached and impersonal.
B. _____ People would probably describe me as warm and supportive.
2 A. _____ I value my ability to be rational.
B. _____ I value my ability to be empathetic.
3. A. _____ I enjoy debating and defending my point of view.
B. _____ I dislike arguing and debating. I value harmony.
4. A. _____ I make decisions objectively and impersonally.
B. _____ I make decisions based on how other people will be affected.
5. A. _____ It is more important to be truthful than tactful.
B. _____ It is important to be tactful than truthful.
6. A. _____ I tend to pay more attention to people’s thoughts than their feelings.
B. _____ I tend to pay more attention to people’s feelings than their thoughts.
7. A. _____ I am good at critiquing people.
B. _____ I am good at appreciating people.
8. A. _____ I tend to analyze people’s problems.
B. _____ I tend to sympathize with people’s problems.
9. A. _____ I tend to not take remarks personally.
B. _____ I tend to take remarks personally and my feelings are easily hurt.
10. A. _____ I make decisions based primarily on principles of justice and
fairness.
B. _____ I make decisions based primarily on personal circumstances or
concerns.
SCORING
Record how many times you chose "A" or "B" as the answer above.
TOTAL
––– A Thinker
––– B Feeler
THE LIFESTYLE PREFERENCE
JUDGERS – PERCEIVERS
THE INVENTORY
1. A___ I make to-do lists and actually do the things on them.
B___ I make to-do lists when I absolutely have to, but even then I don’t necessarily
follow them.
2. A ___ When there’s something I need to do, I try to get it done as soon as possible
B ___ When there’s something I need to do, I tend to procrastinate, and do everything
but that.
3. A ___ If I’m going someplace, I want to plan ahead of time and I prefer to have the
schedule settled before I leave the house.
B ___ I prefer leaving plans open-ended and going with the flow.
4. A___ I need to keep my things organized and orderly or the chaos will drive me
crazy.
B___ I consider myself organized, but my external surroundings can look
chaotic to others.
5. A___ It’s hard for me to relax until I’ve finished everything I have to do.
B ___ I can kick back and take it easy even if work is still pending.
6. A ___ It frustrates me when a firm plan is already agreed on and other people want to
change it, especially when it’s at the last minute.
B ___ Last-minute changes in plans don’t bother me at all; in fact, I often enjoy them.
7. A___ I like to plan ahead as much as possible.
B___ I like to improvise and adapt as I go.
8. A___ I prefer finishing a project before starting another one.
B ___ I’ll often start a new project before finishing the one I’m on.
9. A ___ I’m able to stay very focused on what I need to do.
B ___ Instead of staying on track, I am easily distracted by activities that aren’t really
priorities.
10. A___ I like to decide things as quickly as possible. I feel much more relaxed after a
decision is made.
B ___ I tend to postpone decision-making so I can keep my options open as long as
possible.
SCORING
Record how many times you chose "A" or "B" as the answer above.
TOTAL
––– A Judger
––– B Perceiver
