EXTRAVERTS AND INTROVERTS
Following are some of the sections about Extraverts and Introverts from my latest book Opposites Attract by Renee Baron (minus the cartoons).
EXTRAVERTS
YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTRAVERT IF …
• You invited 100 of your closest friends to your 40th birthday party.
• Standing on line at the grocery store becomes a social event.
• “The more the merrier” is one of the tenets you live by.
• You’d enjoy going on a week’s vacation with a group where the only time you have to yourself is in the bathroom.
• “I’m speechless” is not part of your vocabulary.
• Your cell phone is listed on the company directory.
• You like being selected by the speaker as a volunteer to get up in front of the audience.
• Silence may be golden, but frankly, it makes you nervous.
• You have more Facebook friends than bytes of memory on your hard drive.
WHAT DRIVES AN EXTRAVERT CRAZY
• Waiting forever for someone to answer a question, because he or she just has to think of the perfect way to respond.
• People who are stingy with their conversation, as though it were made of gold.
• Work that is slow paced, or offers little opportunity for interaction with others.
• Anti-social people who don’t understand the value of good company—or bad company, for that matter. In a pinch, an Extravert will chat to a telemarketer.
• People who are always trying to protect their "space."
• People who rarely take the initiative to reach out.
• The silent treatment.
TIPS– FOR EXTRAVERTS
• Practice thinking before speaking. It's wonderful to be articulate, but having a direct line from your thoughts to your mouth isn’t always a good idea.
Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one
consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.
Harlan Miller
• As you speak, take notice of your listener’s interest level. If the person doesn’t isn’t talking or responding, pause and allow time for silence. If you see yawns and hear snoring, it may be time to stop.
• Avoid dominating conversations, or turning them into monologues. For example, when a friend or co-worker asks how your weekend was, share an interesting tidbit—and then ask about theirs. (And remember to listen to the answer).
• Keep in mind that your ideas are interesting, but so are those of other people.
In conversation keep in mind that you’re more interested
in what you have to say than anyone else.
Andy Rooney
• Every now and then, direct your attention to the volume of your voice. If the decibel level is rattling the walls, speak a little more softly.
• Avoid over-committing yourself. Too many activities and events can leave you feeling scattered or stressed. Try to focus on the ones that are most meaningful.
• Be careful of becoming so busy that you neglect those who are important to you.
• See what it’s like to engage in occasional activities that do not involve being with others –reading, crafts, gardening, meditating, and so on.
What a lovely surprise to discover how un-lonely being alone can be.
Ellen Burstyn
• When you're feeling low, seek out the company of other Extraverts to recharge your batteries.
INTROVERTS
YOU MIGHT BE AN INTROVERT IF
• Your three favorite companions are named me, myself, and I.
• You have found yourself hiding in the bathroom at a party more than once.
• A good vacation is being at home with your books and videos.
• When you call someone, you hope that their answering machine is on.
• You break into a puddle of sweat when your turn to share in a circle is approaching.
• You cringe when someone takes the stationery bike next to yours at the gym.
• Your closest friend hasn’t heard from you in months.
• Carpooling, even with someone you like, is never your preference.
WHAT DRIVES AN INTROVERT CRAZY
• Chatterboxes who dominate the conversation.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years – I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
• Being made the center of attention without warning (or even with warning, for that matter!).
• People who are oblivious to all the subtle—and not so subtle—signs that others don’t want to interact.
• Multi-tasking junkies who can’t give full attention to any one thing—or person.
• Discovering that others are discussing their personal life.
• Having to listen to someone ramble on endlessly.
If you have anything to tell me of importance, for God’s sake begin at the end.
Sara Duncan
• Being pressured to talk.
• Getting nonverbal signals when you don’t talk or respond quickly that you may be dull or stupid.
TIPS – FOR INTROVERTS
• Create a retreat that’s all yours—perhaps your bedroom, but even a broom closet will do. No one is allowed in unless you invite them. For you, time alone is a not a luxury—it's a necessity in order for you to feel comfortable in the world.
• If you work with others, find ways to take off by yourself during the day—maybe a walk during your lunch hour or break time—so you can recharge.
• Remember that you are not the only one who might feel awkward in social situations. Sometimes just being honest about how you are feeling is the best icebreaker.
• Take the initiative in reaching out to people instead of waiting for others to ask you to join them. Once in a while, push yourself to take more social risks.
• Be more generous with compliments and praise. When people are important to you, let them know.
Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.
Anon
• If you’re having a disagreement and find yourself at a loss for words, don't abandon the issue. Instead, try saying something like this: “I need some time to myself so I can get more clear.”
• Keep in mind that your inner dialogue may be so real to you that you think you’ve verbalized your ideas to others. In actuality, you may only have shared a tiny part of what you think you said.
• Try doing some of your thinking out loud. Verbalize rough drafts of thoughts that you end up changing.
• In group conversations, volunteer your ideas so people don’t miss out on your usually well thought-out contributions. Even though a point may seem obvious to you, it's often not so to others.
• Initiate discussions rather than always waiting for others to drag things out of you.
• Recognize and appreciate the difference between healthy solitude and unnecessary isolation.
Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone,
and the word solitude to express the glory of being alone.
Paul Tillich
Following are some of the sections about Extraverts and Introverts from my latest book Opposites Attract by Renee Baron (minus the cartoons).
EXTRAVERTS
YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTRAVERT IF …
• You invited 100 of your closest friends to your 40th birthday party.
• Standing on line at the grocery store becomes a social event.
• “The more the merrier” is one of the tenets you live by.
• You’d enjoy going on a week’s vacation with a group where the only time you have to yourself is in the bathroom.
• “I’m speechless” is not part of your vocabulary.
• Your cell phone is listed on the company directory.
• You like being selected by the speaker as a volunteer to get up in front of the audience.
• Silence may be golden, but frankly, it makes you nervous.
• You have more Facebook friends than bytes of memory on your hard drive.
WHAT DRIVES AN EXTRAVERT CRAZY
• Waiting forever for someone to answer a question, because he or she just has to think of the perfect way to respond.
• People who are stingy with their conversation, as though it were made of gold.
• Work that is slow paced, or offers little opportunity for interaction with others.
• Anti-social people who don’t understand the value of good company—or bad company, for that matter. In a pinch, an Extravert will chat to a telemarketer.
• People who are always trying to protect their "space."
• People who rarely take the initiative to reach out.
• The silent treatment.
TIPS– FOR EXTRAVERTS
• Practice thinking before speaking. It's wonderful to be articulate, but having a direct line from your thoughts to your mouth isn’t always a good idea.
Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one
consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.
Harlan Miller
• As you speak, take notice of your listener’s interest level. If the person doesn’t isn’t talking or responding, pause and allow time for silence. If you see yawns and hear snoring, it may be time to stop.
• Avoid dominating conversations, or turning them into monologues. For example, when a friend or co-worker asks how your weekend was, share an interesting tidbit—and then ask about theirs. (And remember to listen to the answer).
• Keep in mind that your ideas are interesting, but so are those of other people.
In conversation keep in mind that you’re more interested
in what you have to say than anyone else.
Andy Rooney
• Every now and then, direct your attention to the volume of your voice. If the decibel level is rattling the walls, speak a little more softly.
• Avoid over-committing yourself. Too many activities and events can leave you feeling scattered or stressed. Try to focus on the ones that are most meaningful.
• Be careful of becoming so busy that you neglect those who are important to you.
• See what it’s like to engage in occasional activities that do not involve being with others –reading, crafts, gardening, meditating, and so on.
What a lovely surprise to discover how un-lonely being alone can be.
Ellen Burstyn
• When you're feeling low, seek out the company of other Extraverts to recharge your batteries.
INTROVERTS
YOU MIGHT BE AN INTROVERT IF
• Your three favorite companions are named me, myself, and I.
• You have found yourself hiding in the bathroom at a party more than once.
• A good vacation is being at home with your books and videos.
• When you call someone, you hope that their answering machine is on.
• You break into a puddle of sweat when your turn to share in a circle is approaching.
• You cringe when someone takes the stationery bike next to yours at the gym.
• Your closest friend hasn’t heard from you in months.
• Carpooling, even with someone you like, is never your preference.
WHAT DRIVES AN INTROVERT CRAZY
• Chatterboxes who dominate the conversation.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years – I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
• Being made the center of attention without warning (or even with warning, for that matter!).
• People who are oblivious to all the subtle—and not so subtle—signs that others don’t want to interact.
• Multi-tasking junkies who can’t give full attention to any one thing—or person.
• Discovering that others are discussing their personal life.
• Having to listen to someone ramble on endlessly.
If you have anything to tell me of importance, for God’s sake begin at the end.
Sara Duncan
• Being pressured to talk.
• Getting nonverbal signals when you don’t talk or respond quickly that you may be dull or stupid.
TIPS – FOR INTROVERTS
• Create a retreat that’s all yours—perhaps your bedroom, but even a broom closet will do. No one is allowed in unless you invite them. For you, time alone is a not a luxury—it's a necessity in order for you to feel comfortable in the world.
• If you work with others, find ways to take off by yourself during the day—maybe a walk during your lunch hour or break time—so you can recharge.
• Remember that you are not the only one who might feel awkward in social situations. Sometimes just being honest about how you are feeling is the best icebreaker.
• Take the initiative in reaching out to people instead of waiting for others to ask you to join them. Once in a while, push yourself to take more social risks.
• Be more generous with compliments and praise. When people are important to you, let them know.
Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.
Anon
• If you’re having a disagreement and find yourself at a loss for words, don't abandon the issue. Instead, try saying something like this: “I need some time to myself so I can get more clear.”
• Keep in mind that your inner dialogue may be so real to you that you think you’ve verbalized your ideas to others. In actuality, you may only have shared a tiny part of what you think you said.
• Try doing some of your thinking out loud. Verbalize rough drafts of thoughts that you end up changing.
• In group conversations, volunteer your ideas so people don’t miss out on your usually well thought-out contributions. Even though a point may seem obvious to you, it's often not so to others.
• Initiate discussions rather than always waiting for others to drag things out of you.
• Recognize and appreciate the difference between healthy solitude and unnecessary isolation.
Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone,
and the word solitude to express the glory of being alone.
Paul Tillich
